You know what I'm talking about if you've ever shopped at Superstore--the "if you spend $250 on groceries, we'll give you a free _____." I love those. But sometimes I wonder who the person is who decides what the freebee of the week is going to be.
For example, sometime around Christmas, I spent the requisite $250 on groceries, and when I went up to the counter, I was informed I had earned a free poinsettia. I love flowers, so I excitedly made my way over to the rack indicated ... and saw a shelf of poinsettias THE SIZE OF MY HOUSE! I could hardly fit my prize into the back of the van. It's been the guest of honour at our kitchen table for the last three months, presiding in regal verdant splendour over our meals and making walking into our kitchen feel like walking into a rainforest. I dump several pitchers of water into the pot once every few weeks, and it just keeps going and going and going. And I wonder sometimes as I gaze up at it who thought that one up. You know, "What should we do now that it's close to Christmas? What will people want to take home? What will inspire them to spend that extra $20 or $30 to earn? I know! Let's offer them a poinsettia THE SIZE OF THEIR HOUSE!"
Or occasionally the substitutions they make at times baffle me. For example, the last time I went shopping there, they were offering a set of Clorox wipes. We have children of potty-training age, so Clorox wipes always come in handy. I had spent the requisite sum, and when I approached the customer service counter with my receipt, they told me politely that they had run out of Clorox wipes, and so had substituted ... two boxes of grown-up wet-wipes. As in, the TP substitute for rich people. I wasn't sure if the humiliation was worth the ... well, whatever it is those things cost, but eventually my thrifty side won out, and I now have two large boxes of adult wet-wipes sitting in my boot room. I'm not sure I'll ever be brave enough to actually use them.
I tried several times on the drive home to puzzle out the thought process that made that particular substitution come into being: "Quick! We're out of Clorox wipes! What should we give them?" "Look! Here's some sort of wipes. Probably basically the same thing. Right? Stick 'em out there. They'll love it."
But there are times Superstore has an incontestable win. Shortly after the Great Poinsettia Incident, I was shopping there, and was informed that I had earned a huge box of Lindor chocolates. A HUGE BOX OF LINDOR CHOCOLATES!!!!!!!! It took all my self-restraint to avoid spending $250 every day that week so I could continue to earn huge boxes of Lindor chocolate. Because who can justify spending $20 or $25 on a box of chocolate for themselves when they have several young mouths to feed? But if they give it to you free ...
Anyways, I'm going shopping tomorrow. Wish me luck.
